By James Williams | Editor-in-Chief

There’s a new conversation happening quietly among Black men—not the ones on red carpets or reality shows, but the ones building legacies in real life.

More and more of us are stepping back from the dating scene—not out of bitterness, but out of clarity. We’re choosing peace over pressure. Boundaries over burnout. And yes, even solitude over stress.

As a recently widowed Black man—not a celebrity, but doing well—I’ve come to see dating through a different lens. Since reentering the game, I’ve found it to be emotionally exhausting, time-consuming, and financially draining. What once felt exciting now feels like a distraction from my purpose. A detour I don’t always have the energy—or the desire—to take.

The truth is, many of us are spending more time in the gym than in the club, more time chasing business goals than romantic highs. The peace that comes from quiet mornings, steady work, and a drama-free phone is worth more than any first date at a rooftop bar.

And let’s talk dollars.

Dating today isn’t cheap. Between high-end restaurants, weekend getaways, designer gifts, and trying to keep up with social media standards—it’s a second rent. And for what?

That money is better spent reinvesting in yourself.
Expand your business. Spoil yourself. Stack your savings. Build wealth.

We’re not anti-woman. We’re anti-chaos.

High-Value Men. High-Value Standards.

This isn’t just my story. NBA star Kevin Durant recently said:

“This dating thing sucks. Dating causes addiction, not freedom. I like to feel free, without constant emotional attachment. And when it comes to intimacy, I’d rather pay for the experience. No strings attached.”


Blunt? Yes. But his point lands.

“Being in a relationship is a lot of work. And if things go wrong, a man can end up losing a large part of his wealth—something his partner didn’t help him earn.”


He’s not alone.
50 Cent said if he had married during his rise, he’d probably be broke.

Chad Ochocinco said he loves peace too much to explain himself to anyone.
Chris Rock, post-divorce, joked: “You get attention—but is it real?”

These men aren’t running from love—they’re running toward freedom. Just like many of us.

The Blueprint Is Changing

For years, Black men were told success meant a house, a wife, and two kids by 35. Now, more of us are realizing: success might just mean peace of mind and financial freedom.

No more proving your worth through relationships. No more giving your all to people who don’t respect it. No more feeling guilty for choosing yourself.

We are rewriting what Black manhood looks like—on our own terms.

We’re not lonely. We’re focused.
We’re not cold. We’re clear.
We’re not avoiding love. We’re avoiding the wrong kind of love.

And if peace means walking alone sometimes? So be it.


I’ve lived love. I’ve experienced loss. And now, I know the value of protecting what I’ve built—my time, my mind, and my mission.

So whether you’re a brother with millions or a man grinding his way up in Philly, hear this:

Peace is the new luxury.
Freedom is the new flex.
And if solitude brings you both—wear it like a crown.